Hello kool kats, I haven't really told anyone this but I've been thinking for quite a while perhaps I should stop playing netball. I've been playing for almost 9 years and I've known people who have pursued netball for over 20 years without their passion diminishing. The sport somehow comes with an edge of competitiveness. With competition, pressure and expectations are inevitable. Those two might mould someone but it doesn't work on me. Its demanding in all aspects like physically and emotionally. I hate expectations because I'm afraid of failing people, I'm afraid of disappointment as much as I'd like to do my best.
Netball used to be a platform for me, a platform for achievements because it's one of the few things I can excel in apart from art. When I get on court and start playing, it feels like I'm disconnected from reality. Netball has brought me to places, allowed me to discover things about myself I never would have and built new friendships with the most amazing people. I perpetually grew up with it. Undeniably, I can never imagine where I'd be if I wasn't playing netball in Sneakers but lately it feels like it's something I want to get out of but I cannot find any valid reason to do so. I'm just sick of it to my bones, that's all.
I'm sorry if any of you think that I'm not making the best out of the opprtunity that I'm given but for now, I'm just crossing my fingers for my future in NAFA, have a great time in it, have a fun part-time job, spend meaningful quality time with San, my wonderful friends and family. Nothing more, nothing less.
Maybe I'm just fucking hum ji that I'll fucking die on court once Os are over, just maybe.
(Probably the reason why I'd stay)
6 comments:
Not only your dear netballer team mates would disagree, if the netball courts, especially at Corporation Primary School could scream, it would yell, "Don't give up".
Netball is like more than your best friend.When you were upset, where you go to confide?
You went to shoots the ball.. That netball post indirectly that inspires, motivate.. 9 years. Consider. Not 9 mins, 9 days or 9 mths... Don't give up on your goal.
It truly upset me.
- Mama
i think i just feel pessimistic right now cos my muscles and stamina bid me gdbye. CAN WE HURRY GO BISHAN, LIKE SERIOUSLY?
haha oh oh and btw, that idiot call herself ms independent. like uh.....? independent?
in·de·pend·ent
-not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc. thinking or acting for oneself
-not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction, autonomous, free
-not influenced by the thought or action of others
-not dependent, not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.
-not relying on another or others for aid or support
-rejecting others' aid or support, refusing to be under obligation to others
-possessing a competency to be financially independent
-sufficient to support a person without his having to work
-executed or originating outside a given unit, agency, business
-working for oneself or for a small, privately owned business
-expressive of a spirit of independence, self-confident, unconstrained
i beg to differ. i think she's fucking delusional. i really pity this kind of people. fucking brag about every single thing but actually got nothing. its like come on uh, be whatever the fuck you want BUT SHUT UP. what did i ever do to deserve such relations to such air-headed people..... -.- the choices you make mama, sometimes affects me in the worst possible way. of all people, them? wahpiang i really consider myself damn bloody suay.
Don't bother. They don't even know themselves, where they stand, worse know the word "Independent"?? They talk shit, they eat shit, they live in a pig sty. No address. Just read her pathetic "Life story". She don't even have a life!!! Where is her "mum"?? That shop exist long before... where were they?? In a cell???!! As we know empty vessel alway makes the loudest noise. Touch you? As what I've said. I'll slice that piglet like a pork.
-Mama
Noo Sha DON'T QUIT LEH, you're like the best shooter I swearrrrrr, and twice my height too. I MEAN YOU ALWAYS DEFEND THE DEFENDER, HOW ZAI IS THAT.
Plus you're my seniorrrrrrrrrr we met through Netball you know. You'd have one less friend if it wasn't for netball :D Actually, more than one.
to mama: kkk tkpe, sha da malas nak layan. orang mcm gini ckp pon tk guna. masuk telinga kiri kluar sebelah kanan. buang current org je
to ly: best shooter? you must be kidding my balls, i'm the most inconsistent shooter in fairfield/sneakers history. and defend the defenders v zai meh! haha actually i'm just scared i will play like shit once Os are over. actually, i've always played like shit in sneakers. i'm like the sai-est shooter lor :(
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