Sha Elektra

How would you feel if you found out today that your existence was unintended?
Need. To. Fucking. Feel. Nothing. At. All. Or what?

And may I digress, yes I'm not going to get a fucking A in art in Os.
Yes your plates, as a matter of fact, the whole piece is way better.
Yes you can get to art school faster, faster than me saying my fucking cheebye words.
Good for you. Very good. I hope you get in and enjoy life there and graduate happily, period.

Back in relations as to what I was saying, you know... All you fucked up kids don't know me so don't fucking judge.
Like I said if you think I have a fucking instruction book for Life and have it all easy, please go fuck a tranny.
What the fuck does "family" means to you? Do you even care? Do you even bother? No.
You can pretend to know and use impressive lexicons filled with sarcasm like, "Assault me all you want, I enjoy it. Love, ****"
Eh fucker, your weak reverse psychology is bullshit. You and your mother can go fuck gigolos from Batam and get STDs.
Evidently you still fail to see my purpose in my actions. Oh yes how could you? You're busy socialising with cool people.
But before you do all those nonsense and if you have some fucking respect, do some soul searching for yourself.
You want to show off to your "friends" about how your mother is so nice like a saint, how much your mother spend on you....
Remember that your mother went through jail for using company's fund okay. So please be a little more wary of your words.
And the amount of $ that my mother spent on you or anybody related to you before can seriously be put to better use.
Plus you are fucking disgusting. Masturbate with deodorant. Pee on your bed. Spit your phelgm anyhow.
And the best part, you condescendingly wish to tell the whole world that you were born out of wedlock. What the fuck?

Oh and speaking of mother. Imagine if all your mothers said that she wished she had never met your dad... how?
All these while, the abuse and verbal attacks, the sudden negligence and the sudden guard... What for?
You tell me to work hard and show them who's better blah blah blah blah blah blah, so that YOU can feel good at my expense?
And ya, I never once mentioned that I expect you to be perfect what. Why are you putting words in my mouth?
Yes human make mistakes, I am human too. And as if I didn't say sorry and didn't mean it before I texted you.
AND WHAT RUBBISH. For starters, are you sure I want to sebok2 about them? Who keep on asking about their updates in the 1st place?
Who randomly tell me shit stories about them when I never even ask? Knock your conscience cos I think they are hibernating.
Oh and you're doing all these crap to salvage your marriage but affect our side of the family...... for IrXXX? Deafening applause.
You can send me smses after smses even if I didn't reply you or you can flood my comment box and continue spewing about life...
You can bangkit all you want about your money, the shit you go through for me blah blah blah blah....
You can do whatever you like, complain to whoever you want, whenever you want, however dramatic you want to make this entry's outcome.
Afterall, isn't that what you've been doing all these years when we don't come to terms with each other?
Technology fascinates you so much that you feel so proud when you typed one long sms to bring other people's morale down.
And don't misunderstand and misintepret cos whatever that I texted you about was never with intentions like that.
But my point basically is, I had enough hypocrisy from you, nenek and whoever. And practise what you are (forever) preaching.
"Human greatest need is to feel appreciated." Sounds familiar? That's because you were the one that kept emphasizing on it.
FYI, if you never noticed it, I tried. I played my part and sincerely say my please and thank yous to you whenever I get the chance to.
If you never noticed, I haven't been going out as often. I cut down by a lot. I even set my own curfew so that I can change for the better.
If you never noticed, I always try my best to stand up for you when complete idiots attempted to bring your life down. I really tried hard.
But in all honesty, what's the point? You just took me as your 21st bday "present" and that if you could, you wished that you never met Papa and have me.

With all that being said, I am aware that I am putting myself in jeopardy but I just feel a sudden impetus to let it all out.
All of you are driving me to my grave, wishing me good riddance and seemingly feel fine about it. Goodbye.