M'kay some pictures of bowling from last Saturday.
Moving on, today I slept like at 9am... Only to wake up with An creeping under the blanket at 3pm? I was super tired so we lazed around before I went to shower and got ready for dinner. Was supposed to cook for him but the lazy bones kicked in and before we knew it, we were on the bike to conquer our cravings for Pepperlunch. I found myself getting easily annoyed at An today. I think that knowing too many things in one day is really shitty. The weight problem and the overwhelming "Am I not good enough for you?" mindset is slowly tearing my insides. Apparently some people think that An is too nice to me and that I am treating him like crap. I? Treat An like shit? I beg to differ and I would like to stand firm on my ground. I am trying okay. I am fucking trying to be the girl all of you want to love but cut me some slack, I do not have Mother Theresa's patience. I know I am fat, I know I am this I am that I am everything that you do not want me to be I am not up to your expectations, oh I will be prettier if I am skinnier blah blah blah. I am a UK20 and my fats would not fucking disappear overnight. Get. Over. It. I am not pissed off, I am just... really sad. Really sad that constantly, for so many many many times, my exterior means more to all of you than what I am on the inside. Stop it :(
On a different note, I am going off to JB in morning. Will blog once I am back in SG. 3 people in JB, gila right? So pray for me cos aku tak nak mati! And I love you An... Can we set aside the differences? It's starting to get out of hand and I feel so demoralised.
5 comments:
no one reads ur blog anymoree
haha ok lor, doesn't matter to me so it shouldn't matter to you :)
I STILL DO!
thank you! i thought this space is getting old. i feel like i said that a lot of times already hahaha. x
Old is gold sha, old is gold... :]
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